CAGE OF ZENITH

By Taiwo Okeowo

SAFACS 2023 ENTRY 10

Existence was a variation, a shifting shadow, days came and went, and purpose when fulfilled went unto the next, the next insatiable pursuit of happiness, an unconscious void that grew more intense, akin to a black hole. I was a slave to the very things that controlled me: my ambitions, self-absurdity, and ignorance. Ha! My ignorance—have I been blinded by the god of this world, you ask? Perhaps I have, for being christened at birth and merely having faith in the Son, did not lead to the understanding and transformation it ought to have. My mind remained a battlefield, as worldly ideologies exalted themselves above the knowledge of Christ, preventing Christ-like thoughts from forming.

They found issues in the accounts of patriarchal exploits performed by men the creator chose. He must love them more, for though their existence brought chaos, he never stopped working through them. A girl child, that I am, but aren’t I also fit to do exploit? Are my exploits regulated to beauty or should I strategically position myself in a field so the eyes of a man might fall on me and am l a second-class citizen in the eyes of the creator? If so I will make my reality independent of his observation and my mandate will be qué será, sera.

Timeout, put an end to those rebellious thoughts and pride that refuse me to be subservient to the wisdom of the scriptures, for at just the right time his mercy brought forth a word.

“If you seek the fault in anything, you will find it, yet you do not know your God but still demand to do exploit.”

And in that instant, those words said to the many raging thoughts “peace be still” A life that was once a misconception of variables met a constant, and the glory of his presence brought a light that the darkness of my mundane self could not comprehend.

Seeing such light you would think I would not be so ungrateful to look back with longing just as Lot’s wife looked at the life of death she

had been set free from. Again my way, I did it my way till I no longer could. Allowing his spirit to transform me wholly, looking back at nothing, as I set my eyes on the one who freed me my mandate shifted from qué será, será to whatever will be is whatever he wills. For what purpose guarantees fulfillment more than the one found in him and what greater joy is there than being reconciled with the Father? None, I assure you.

Sin and pride, both abhorrent in his eyes, could never outweigh his love and grace for me. Therefore, I approach each day, whether good or bad, steadfast in faith and praise for the one who is love—yes, love his essence, not merely an action he performs. So who am I in Christ? I am she who was once dead to sin but now lives by his blood.