FIGHTING GOD
- Satayaa Africa Foundation
- Aug 16, 2023
- 2 min read
By Ekong Aniebiet
SAFACS 2023 ENTRY 13
In a dimly lit arena, anticipation hung heavy in the air. The atmosphere crackled with tension as two figures stood poised for a battle of monumental proportions. The challenger, fueled by anger and pain, prepared to face none other than the ultimate Opponent – God!
His heart pounded fiercely within his chest, drowning out the noise of the crowd. He had long waited for this moment, where all that mattered was the One standing before him.
The weight of the moment bore down upon him, the realization of what was at stake washing over his being. This was a fight to the death, and only one would emerge victorious. And he was sure it would be him. God was finished. It was finally time to get his pound of flesh.
With a resolute gaze fixed upon his opponent, the challenger launched himself forward, unleashing a flurry of “why me” punches striking with all his might in rapid succession. He could sense God reeling under the assault. Then the challenger unleashed a barrage of ‘you could have…’ uppercuts and jabs, striking with deadly accuracy.
God definitely didn’t see that coming, he thought. With each powerful blow, the challenger's confidence grew. He reveled in the feeling of power coursing through his veins.
Then the challenger braced himself to deliver a strong ‘After all I did for you...’ blow to his Opponent’s stomach, leaving God stunned and gasping for air. Without giving any time to recover, the challenger hit God with his most devastating ‘You failed me!’ punch to the chest. This was his signature move. There was no surviving that.
The crowd went silent. The tension was so thick you could cut through it. It seemed no one was breathing as they watched on. The challenger stood back to look at his fine work; sweating and panting heavily.
He ought to be satisfied, yet, a nagging sense of dissatisfaction gnawed at his heart. Something within him questioned the emptiness of this obvious triumph. What else was there to do? Just then someone in the crowd screamed, “Finish Him off!” “Crush His heart under your feet”. And at this, the crowd went wild, with mixed reactions as the referee handed the challenger the sword.
With fierce determination, he picked up the Sword and walked toward God. And with all his might, he struck hard. The sword tore through flesh easily and hit the mark. Blood everywhere! But the challenger soon realized that the blood was his. It was not God's heart that lay before him; it was his own. He was soon on his knees, his heart in his hands stretched towards his Opponent.
The sword slipped from his grasp, forgotten and discarded as understanding dawned on him: the fight was never with God, but with himself, his own pain and insecurities. And the only way to live; is to yield.
In that moment of clarity, he died.
Indeed, only one came out alive
And it wasn’t him.
Okay so great work so far. I'll go straight to critiquing. There are a number of words and sentences that feel out of place in this piece. I'll point out a few;
"The tension was so thick you could cut through it" if it was that thick why is it so easy to cut through? Besides, you could've just said "the tension was palpable" or better still, "the crowd was in a frenzy", try not to use the same words repeatedly in a writing.. this is a testament to your grammatical range, but more than range it must also be accurate. "It seemed no one was breathing as they watched on" what the hell is that? "The audience could hardly…
Nothing suggests it's scripted...
Looks too real..
Great work... intriguing... inspiring...educative....instructive
Lovely read and enjoyable too.
Bringing life to a phenomenon many have experienced, are still experiencing and may soon experience, while also exposing the futility of fighting God instead of yielding.
Captivating Writing with a Powerful Message.
This tale is very relatable. Everyone has thrown a punch at God at some point in their lives (some more than others).
But the twist sends a powerful message: In fighting God, we're hurting ourselves more. We are the collateral damage.
A deep message, delivered in a spellbinding way.
Great piece. 👏 👏 👏
Through all that humour and unpredictability, a strong story is told - calmly. It's fine piece.