RENEWED

By Oyindamola Tanimoomo

SAFACS 2023 ENTRY 23

"Lord have mercy on your daughter, Lord have mercy o" I heard my mother pray as I entered the house.

"Mama, come and eat o. The prayers you've been praying is enough don't go and kill yourself for a God that does not hear you." I said putting the food I brought on the table.

My mother looked up at me briefly from her prayers and said, "Sumisola, don't talk like that. He answers prayers and He has been answering my prayers especially those prayed for you" She replied and went back to praying.

This angered me, "Mama leave God alone now and stop disturbing Him" I said.

"Sumisola! "

"Mama, what!? " I lashed out in anger. I couldn't hold back the emotions, I quivered as I poured out my pain, "Do you know what it feels like for a 10-year-old to watch her father die? Do you? "

The tears were flowing rapidly, "I watched as life slowly slipped out of Dad. Mama, I prayed, oh I prayed"

Moving closer, I said, "God abandoned me. Mama, He left me when I needed Him the most"

I cleaned my nose and continued, holding her hands, " Mama, I thought I wasn't doing enough. I intensified my evangelism, I doubled my prayer walk. Decreeing in faith, sowing seeds from the money you gave me, and then making a vow. I even reminded God of how He reversed Hezekiah's death sentence but God refused the one thing I wanted the most. For my dad to be alive."

I gently pulled my hands away from my mother, wiped my tears, and blew my nose into my mother's wrapper that was turned into my bed sheet.

"Sumisola Badmus… " My mother tried to talk amidst the tears.

"Mummy please, don't" I interrupted her. I was in no mood to listen to anyone or anything. I just wanted to leave.

As I opened the door, I turned back to face my mother, "Mama, I've come to accept that there is no God, maybe you should too."

All the emotions that were bottled up five years ago came rushing back like a tidal wave and I couldn't help but find a place to sit.

Fortunately, I found an old bench that was resting on the wall of a small church for support. I sat down there and just stared into space. Soon, the words of the pastor about God's love began to sink in. I wanted to stand up and leave but a force kept me there.

As the altar call was made, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I clutched my heart as I went down on my knees in pain. Through the pain, I whispered,

"Lord have mercy"

And I kept repeating this till I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I looked up, I saw an usher lead me gently to the front. And right there, I accepted Christ again into my life and became a new man.