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By Ifeoma Nicole Chukwuka

SAFACS 2023 ENTRY 21

Ziva tossed uncomfortably in her seat, her sweaty palms gripping the arm of the chair as she tried to control her rapid heartbeat, but it didn’t work. Instead, she became more uneasy and felt the desperate urge to pick up her purse and escape through the exit on her left.

But she stayed. She lifted her head slightly and gave the faintest smile to the church photographer as he took rapid shots. This moment right here was not one she saw coming. Ziva wiggled her toes in her red pumps and thought back to everything that led her to this day, everything that seemed like a series of bad choices and wrong decisions.

She had lost her father 2 years ago. He was a Minister and a lover of Christ. Her fondest memories were joining him at church early Sunday mornings while her siblings took their time to get ready and come with their mum. When she was just six, she remembered how he carried her into the church auditorium and placed her on one of the empty church seats. With her tiny legs dangling from the chair, she would watch as he paced around praying with a deep passion. When she was older, her father told her it was his desire to see many saved.

This man who was willing to give it all up for the gospel, fell ill and Ziva recalled many days of kneeling on that same altar to pray for him but on her 22nd birthday, she lost her father.

She was hurt and she found herself drifting away. Ziva felt unloved but after one unintended viral video, everyone seemed to ‘love’ her. The more she revealed her body, the more she felt wanted. Her mum had taken her phone one day and tossed it against the wall screaming “Tragedy is not an excuse to lose all sensibility” but Ziva did not care. Her apparent lack of sensibility was the reason she could walk into Slot and replace the phone without batting an eyelash.

Maybe if her eyes were not fixed on her new iPhone that day, she would not have missed the cold hands that grabbed her as she turned the corner. He reeked of stale sweat and cheap alcohol. As he grabbed the phone, she felt an indescribable pain piercing through her abdomen. Falling to the ground, she felt warm moisture surround her face. Just before it all went dark, she cried out to the only One who could save her in that moment.

Knowing in one instant she could lose everything she thought was important, Ziva slowly but surely found her way back to Christ. Here she was today, about to teach on the very altar her father had led hundreds to Christ.

She felt she had lost that little girl who sat and watched on from the pews, but that girl evolved to something new and if her testimony could be someone’s lifeline, then the journey to here was worth it.